The Moment I Asked: Who Am I? How the Nodes Changed My Life

Have you ever heard of the North & South Node in astrology? That was my introduction to astrology.

I had an identity crisis at 36. I started questioning who I was and why I was here. I remember being in my bedroom at around 13 or 14 years old, thinking, Is this really me? Is this really my life? I had forgotten about that memory until I started questioning my life again at 36.

I had always wondered about these things, but in the chaos of teenage hood, adulthood, and then motherhood, I was more focused on the outside world than on what was happening in my subconscious mind. It wasn’t until my kids went off to school that these questions started resurfacing.

Suddenly, I had time alone, and with that space, I found myself asking, Who the fuck am I?

That wasn’t the only thing happening at the time. I also had a completely unexpected, spontaneous mediumship experience. It was the most beautiful, life-changing moment of my life. Even now, I still cry sometimes just thinking about the timing of it all. I remember waking up the next day and telling my best friend about the experience. She looked at me and said, “I’m interested to see what happens next.” I can still vividly remember her saying those words to me.

I've always been a researcher, always wanting more information, always needing to know more, more, more about the topics that interest me. So naturally, after the spontaneous event, I started googling. I found myself exploring things like mediumship, past lives, and, of course, the number one question everyone asks: What is my purpose?

That’s when I came across the North & South Node in astrology.

The South Node represents the past - where we’ve come from in previous lives, what we’re naturally good at, and where we feel comfortable. It just so happened that my South Node was in the 4th house - the house of home, family, nurturing, and caregiving. I had spent past lifetimes (and this one) fully immersed in those roles. It was my comfort zone, my natural genius. But something had shifted. Home life didn’t feel as fulfilling as it once did.

Enter the North Node - the direction our soul is meant to move toward in this lifetime. It’s uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and sometimes terrifying. But our soul needs us to go there. It’s our greatest mission to push past what’s familiar, to step into new skills and experiences, to grow and evolve.

And suddenly, there it was - a direction, a path forward.

So, what did my North Node in the 10th house reveal? It told me: You need to step outside the home. You need to find an identity beyond being a mother, wife, and homemaker - through a career or a role in the world that exists beyond family life.

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South Node vs. North Node – Your Comfort Zone & Soul’s Calling

1st House → 7th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 1st House): Self-reliant, independent, strong-willed, and used to doing things solo.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 7th House): Learning to connect, collaborate, and build meaningful relationships. Growth comes through partnerships rather than solely relying on yourself.

2nd House → 8th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 2nd House): Stability, material security, self-sufficiency, and personal values. Comfortable with the tangible and the practical.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 8th House): Embracing transformation, deep emotional connections, and shared resources. Growth comes from trust, intimacy, and letting go of control over material security.

3rd House → 9th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 3rd House): Logic, intellect, facts, and staying close to what’s familiar (community, siblings, daily learning).

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 9th House): Expanding beyond the familiar into deeper wisdom, higher education, travel, and philosophical exploration. Growth comes from broadening your perspective and embracing the unknown.

4th House → 10th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 4th House): Home, family, emotional security, and nurturing others. Safe in personal and private life.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 10th House): Stepping into a public role, career success, and creating a legacy outside of home life. Growth comes from taking on responsibility and leadership in the world.

5th House → 11th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 5th House): Creativity, self-expression, playfulness, and personal recognition. Focus on individual passions and pleasure.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 11th House): Contributing to a greater cause, working in groups, and focusing on collective goals. Growth comes from collaboration and making a difference beyond personal desires.

6th House → 12th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 6th House): Routine, structure, service, perfectionism, and focusing on daily tasks.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 12th House): Surrender, spirituality, intuition, and embracing the unseen. Growth comes from letting go of control and trusting in the flow of life.

7th House → 1st House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 7th House): Relationships, partnerships, and seeking balance through others.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 1st House): Embracing independence, self-discovery, and personal leadership. Growth comes from stepping into your own power without relying on others.

8th House → 2nd House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 8th House): Deep transformation, emotional intensity, shared resources, and reliance on others for security.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 2nd House): Building your own stability, financial independence, and trusting in your own values. Growth comes from self-sufficiency and learning to create security for yourself.

9th House → 3rd House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 9th House): Big-picture thinking, philosophy, travel, and expanding beyond the familiar.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 3rd House): Embracing details, communication, and local connections. Growth comes from focusing on the present moment and learning through daily experiences.

10th House → 4th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 10th House): Career, public image, status, and striving for success in the outer world.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 4th House): Prioritising emotional fulfillment, home life, and personal well-being. Growth comes from building a strong inner foundation rather than chasing external achievements.

11th House → 5th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 11th House): Group dynamics, community involvement, and working toward collective goals.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 5th House): Embracing creativity, self-expression, and personal joy. Growth comes from following your heart and allowing yourself to shine. 

12th House → 6th House

Comfort Zone (South Node in 12th House): Isolation, spirituality, intuition, and detachment from material reality.

Soul’s Calling (North Node in 6th House): Practicality, daily work, and being of service in tangible ways. Growth comes from bringing your dreams into reality through discipline, structure and routines.

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With the information I had uncovered, I knew I needed to go deeper, so I immersed myself in every YouTube video I could find about the North and South Nodes. It wasn’t until I began studying astrology officially that everything truly started to make sense and fall into place. I also sought out readings from other astrologers, which helped me understand myself and my path on a much deeper level.

But It’s more than just the North and South Nodes. The whole chart tells a story. We get to choose whether we want to tap into the higher or lower manifestations of our chart. We can choose if we want to stay in our comfort zones or move forward.

At times, I’ve thought, "I wish I had never learned any of this. Take me back to when my kids were little, and I was safe in my comfort bubble." But the truth is, if we stay in our comfort zones, we don’t grow. We don’t evolve. And eventually, we end up feeling stagnant, even miserable. So, I will never regret learning this information, and I thank whatever energies conspired to lead me to astrology every single day. As I write this, I have tears in my eyes, that’s how powerful astrology has been in my life.

I hope this has helped you better understand just how powerful the Nodes can be in our lives. If you feel called to go deeper, you can always book a reading with me (HERE)

Astrology is so much more than just the Nodes, your entire chart tells a story. You simply have to be open to receiving its wisdom.

Tara XO